By the time Sue Willoughby turned 50, she was ready to stop running from herself. For most of her adult life, she had been searching for a sense of peace, for clarity about her purpose, and for a way to live more fully in her body and heart.
“I had done all the right things,” Sue said. “I had a good job and a close circle of friends. But, I was still asking, ‘Who am I and what do I want?’”
The answer came from an unexpected source. Or, perhaps, a very old one.
Horses had always been part of Sue’s life, going back to childhood. But, she didn’t realize how deeply they would shape her healing journey until she was well into midlife.
“Horses don’t care what your resume says or how confident you pretend to be,” Sue said. “They feel what’s going on inside you, even if you don’t.”
What began as a personal journey to reconnect with herself became a new vocation. Today, Sue is an equine coach and master facilitator who helps other women in midlife rediscover their truth, passion and emotional presence by learning to listen to horses.
Learning to feel again
Sue grew up around horses and began riding at a young age. As an adult, she volunteered with therapeutic riding programs and later trained in equine massage. But, something deeper called to her when she attended a workshop about the power of coaching through horses.
“I saw the transformation happening for people who had no riding experience at all,” she said. “It wasn’t about horsemanship. It was about being seen, felt and heard in a way that bypasses words.”
She became certified through Equine Alchemy and later through Equine Facilitated Coaching and Master Facilitator Training. Along the way, she experienced her own profound shifts.
“I remember the first time a horse walked away from me during a session,” Sue said. “I thought, ‘What did I do wrong?’ But the coach said, ‘What’s going on inside you?’ And I realized I was trying to lead without being connected to my own body. The horse wasn’t rejecting me. It was giving me feedback.”
That moment became a cornerstone of Sue’s practice.
“Horses respond to energy, not performance,” she said. “They show you exactly where you are, whether you’re grounded, anxious, confused or clear.”
A mirror with no judgment
Unlike humans, horses don’t judge. They don’t offer advice or expect explanations. They simply reflect what is present, with gentle neutrality.
“Horses mirror our emotions and help us get out of our heads,” Sue said. “You can’t overthink with a horse. They won’t follow your words, but they will follow your energy.”
Sue explained that horses are deeply attuned to congruence. If someone says they’re fine, but feels angry or afraid inside, the horse will sense the mismatch.
“That’s where the magic happens,” she said. “People start to notice, ‘Oh, I’m not as calm as I thought,’ or ‘I’m not fully here.’ And from that awareness, change becomes possible.”
One client came to her struggling with boundaries. During the session, the horse continually pushed into the woman’s space. Sue invited her to notice what she was allowing and how it felt in her body.
“She said, ‘This is what I do at work. I let people walk all over me,’” Sue recalled. “That insight didn’t come from talking. It came from feeling.”
Midlife as an opening, not an ending
Many of the women who seek Sue’s guidance are in their 50s or 60s and feeling lost. Some are navigating divorce, while others are grappling with retirement, aging parents or the empty nest. Almost all are asking the same question Sue once asked: Who am I now?
“I work with a lot of women who have been caregivers their whole lives,” Sue said. “They’ve been moms, wives, daughters and professionals, but they’ve lost touch with who they are beneath all those roles.”
Equine coaching offers a space to explore that question without pressure or judgment.
“You don’t have to have the answer,” Sue said. “You just have to show up and be willing to feel.”
She recalled one woman who began her session feeling numb and shut down. The horse refused to engage. Over time, as the woman began to breathe more deeply and soften her posture, the horse slowly approached and laid its head on her shoulder.
“She started crying,” Sue said. “She hadn’t felt that kind of unconditional presence in years. That was the moment she realized she could trust herself again.”
Holding space for transformation
Sue is quick to clarify that equine coaching is not therapy. She doesn’t diagnose or interpret people’s past. Instead, she holds space for what is emerging in the present.
“It’s about trusting the process,” she said. “The horse is the co-facilitator. I just help people notice what’s happening and ask questions that bring awareness.”
That awareness often leads to surprising breakthroughs. Sue recalled a corporate executive who struggled with leadership. During the session, the horse wouldn’t follow her unless she connected emotionally and set clear intentions.
“She had to lead from presence, not from force,” Sue said. “That changed how she showed up at work and at home.”
Another woman, recently widowed, came seeking peace. She was deeply grieving, but had trouble expressing emotion. During her session, the horse stood quietly beside her as she wept.
“She said afterward, ‘I didn’t feel alone for the first time in months,’” Sue said.
Finding her own voice
Becoming an equine coach wasn’t just a professional pivot for Sue, it was a deeply personal journey of reclaiming her voice.
“For a long time, I was the nice girl who kept the peace,” she said. “I was raised to be polite, helpful and accommodating. But, I didn’t know how to speak up for myself.”
Horses helped her change that.
“They won’t follow unclear signals,” she said. “They taught me to be honest about what I want and need, and to trust that I’m allowed to want it.”
Sue said one of the most healing parts of her journey was learning that she didn’t have to fix anyone.
“My job isn’t to solve people’s problems,” she said. “It’s to remind them that they have the answers inside them. The horse helps them hear it.”
A life of alignment
Now in her early 60s, Sue said she feels more aligned and grounded than ever.
“This is the most fulfilling work I’ve ever done,” she said. “I get to witness people returning to experience joy, gain confidence and accept the truth.”
She continues to train, study, and deepen her understanding of both human development and equine behavior. She also leads workshops, facilitates retreats, and collaborates with other coaches and healers around the country.
What gives her life meaning now, more than anything, is presence.
“I’m not chasing anymore,” she said. “I’ve learned to listen to my body, slow down and trust the process. That’s what horses teach you, and that’s what I help others to rediscover.”
For more information
People can connect with Sue on these platforms:
- Website = www.willoughbycoaching.com
- Instagram = www.instagram.com/sue_willoughby
- LinkedIn = www.linkedin.com/in/suewilloughby
Her podcast, Midlife Strategies for Badass Women, is available on iTunes, Spotify and other distribution sites.
