There was an interesting article on the VegOut platform this week which suggested the happiest people are those who treat simply existing as enough?
The article, written by Lachlan Brown, claimed psychologists now believe lasting happiness later in life doesn’t come from chasing purpose and meaning. Rather, they claim it comes from releasing the need to chase anything at all.
If that’s the case, then why is loneliness at an epidemic stage among seasoned citizens today? If people are happiest when they are sitting at home doing nothing, then why does the Centers for Disease Control report the suicide rate for adult men is near the historic high.
I live in Sun City, Ariz., which is America’s first planned retirement community. Because it has eight rec centers and eight golf courses, people move here in droves thinking they are going to simply recreate their way to happiness in retirement. Yet, many seasoned citizens here are bored out of their minds.
The article cited Stanford researcher Laura Carstensen, who reported, “Older adults who are happiest aren’t the ones who found the perfect purpose or the ideal passion. They’re the ones who shifted from acquiring and achieving to savoring and being. As they became more aware that time was limited, they stopped chasing and started noticing.”
Okay, I’ll bite.
How do you notice anything, sitting in front of a television watching mindless TV shows or, even worse, doomscrolling through news stories and social media posts?
If people were getting out and about doing things and meeting people, I suspect they would be happier, even if they aren’t pursuing actual purpose. But, as many as 20 percent of men over 70 claim they do not have a single male friend.
To me, that would be the result of people who simply go through life “existing,” instead of finding a way to put their natural talents, learned skills and vast life experience to work actually helping someone else.
I find it hard to believe that simply existing within your own bubble is actually better than being actively engaged in a community.
Lachlan claimed, “The “find your purpose” industry has done real damage to people over 60. It tells them, implicitly, that if they haven’t found their passion yet, they’re failing at aging. That retirement should be a second act, a reinvention, a new chapter with a clear narrative arc. And while some people genuinely find new callings later in life, many don’t. And they feel ashamed about it.”
Truly, regardless of where people live, there is so much need in the world, that simply stepping outside your house opens your eyes to people who need help or desire companionship.
But, if all you do is exist within the confines of your own home, there is no way you will discover that.
Even the title of the platform, VegOut, implies people have stopped trying to live for others and opted to focus entirely upon themselves.
That has got to be the worst way for people to go through their older years.
Yet, I do know of people who have adopted or plan to adopt Lachlan’s approach. In fact, I spoke with a woman recently who hoped heaven would be a place where she was totally isolated from everyone else for eternity.
I am an introvert at heart, and that doesn’t sound like heaven at all, but a never-ending hell.
