The greatest need of all is regular human connection

Last week, I learned a lesson on how little it really takes to have meaningful purpose in my life.

One of the groups I belong to has a member who frequently reaches out to others to ask how they’re doing and what he can do to help. Yet, he admitted in one of the meetings that few people ever reach out to him in the same way.

I realized I was one of the majority who always replied to his messages with either a tale of woe or to simply note that everything was good on my end. Yet, I never asked about him.

The more I thought about it, the more perplexed I became as to why I acted that way. Eventually, I settled on the flimsiest of excuses – I didn’t feel I had anything to offer.

He already enjoyed several thriving businesses and his circle of influence was growing every day. He also had a wonderful family, enough money to support his every need, the ability to travel frequently, if he desired, and a lot of respect within the community.

What, I wondered, could Greg Gerber possibly offer to someone like that, who seemingly had everything he wanted or needed.

Then it dawned on me. I can offer human connection.

I realized it must be rather lonely and isolating to “know” so many people, but not be “known” by many of them.

I had to apologize for my apathy.

It is absolutely the wrong attitude to take with anyone, especially a younger man who may be struggling with the same questions and concerns about life and faith that I did 12 years ago.

In his book, “The Way of the Wild Heart,” John Eldredge calls this stage of my life “The Sage.” The number of people truly counting on me to come through for them day after day is just one – me.

For the most part, my time in the other stages of a masculine journey have come to an end. With both parents gone, I am no longer the “Beloved Son.” My “Cowboy” days of adventure are mostly over. I really don’t have any battles to fight as a “Warrior.” My “Lover” days are long gone, and I’m certainly not a “King” of anything anymore.

The dictionary definition of a sage is, “Someone venerated for experience, judgment and wisdom.”

There is a poster in my office of a sinking ships that says, “It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.”

I have made enough mistakes for which I can at least offer sage advice on things to avoid.

More importantly, there is always a need to connect with people from a purely human standpoint.

My church explains it best in its mission statement for members. We are encouraged to take notice, take interest and take action.

Everyone in every neighborhood needs human connection, if only to sit and chat for a while. If we listen closely enough, and read between the lines of social media posts, we can notice people who are lonely, need encouragement or a troubled by something on their minds.

Outside of the routine, “How are you?” when meeting others, I had to ask myself how frequently I genuinely took notice in someone else, and took enough interest in how they were doing to even ask the question from a heartfelt, genuine curiosity.

Sadly, the answer was “not nearly enough.”

People desiring a more meaningful life can find it by simply being curious about others, regardless of their perceived status, and taking an interest in their lives.

Although that connection can take place online or in-person, it is becoming a treat to have one-on-one personal meeting or even an actual phone call, when that isn’t possible.

Make someone’s day today by sincerely asking, “How are you?” Then listen intently. The impact will be felt by you and the recipient.