For decades, Rita Lussier’s life had been a whirlwind of activity. Between raising two children, managing her own marketing consulting business, and writing a regular column for the Providence Journal, she barely had time to breathe, let alone think about what would happen when it all changed.
But when her youngest daughter went off to college, and Rita’s long-running newspaper column ended around the same time, she found herself facing an unfamiliar and unsettling silence.
“I can’t even remember turning 50,” Rita said. “I was so busy with my marriage, my two kids and my newspaper column. It was really the inciting incident, as they say, when our youngest daughter left for college. All of a sudden, here I was alone, and it was disorienting.”
After years of experiencing a bustling family life, Rita and her husband were suddenly “two strangers sharing a house,” a dynamic many couples discover after children move out.
“I vividly recall the first weekend after our daughter went to college,” she said. “My husband picked me up from my Friday evening yoga class, and we drove around Newport, R.I., asking each other, ‘What do you want to do?’ Neither of us had an answer. We just kept driving around in circles.”
Fortunately, that awkward phase didn’t last forever. Over time, Rita and her husband found their footing again.
“It got a lot better,” she recalled.
But the transition forced Rita to confront a deeper question. Without her familiar roles and routines, who was she now?
Processing change through writing
Like many writers, Rita processed her emotions by writing them down.
“During those early empty nest years, I had a lot to process. I wrote about my feelings, the empty spaces all around me and the changing relationship I had with my husband,” she explained.
She also wrote about the evolving relationship with her aging parents.
“My parents were getting older, and I started spending more time with them,” Rita said. “Everything was changing – my career, my friendships and even our dog. All the rituals and routines that had anchored my life just blew up.”
Some of Rita’s writings found their way into newspapers, magazines and even National Public Radio. Yet, she carried a dream that had been with her for years: writing a book.
The long road to a dream realized
Writing a book wasn’t a quick or easy journey.
“From coming up with the idea to getting a publisher, it probably took close to 10 years,” Rita said. “Because I was persistent at every stage along the way, the book got better.”
Her memoir, “And Now, Back to Me: Stories from an Empty Nest,” is a collection of personal essays that chronicle the emotional upheaval and eventual renewal she experienced after her children left home.
“I like to say it’s not a self-help book,” she explained. “But, I hope it will be an emotional guide for parents who are entering, already in, or remembering the empty nest years.”
Adapting to change
During the past few years, Rita has adapted to everything from shifting relationships with her children and husband, to caring for her parents, to renovating her house, and even adapting to life with a returning adult child during COVID.
“Our daughter moved back in for about four years during the pandemic,” Rita noted. “That was challenging for her and for us. At the same time, my sister and I were taking care of my father almost daily. It was a lot.”
Despite the challenges, Rita cherished the extra time with her father in his final years.
“He was very social and always on the go,” she said. “COVID forced him to slow down and reflect. We had some wonderful conversations during that time.”
A little bit of magic
Rita’s publishing journey took a magical turn thanks to her father. Shortly after his passing, Rita entered an essay contest. It was an idea that came to her suddenly over a glass of wine with her husband.
She scribbled her thoughts on a pad, unsure if it was worth submitting. It ended up winning first place at the prestigious Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop.
“At the workshop in Ohio, I stumbled into a session about memoir writing led by Brooke Warner, who is a publisher,” Rita recalled. “At the end, I introduced myself, told her I’d just finished my memoir, and asked if she’d take a look. She did, and she made me an offer to publish it.”
Today, “And Now, Back to Me” is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.
Finding new rhythms
In addition to writing, Rita embraced other activities that helped her navigate life after 50. A lifelong runner, she continues to lace up her shoes most mornings.
“I run first thing before I can think of reasons not to,” she said. “It’s like a meditation. I work out problems, come up with ideas and start my day with a clear mind.”
She also reconnected with friends in ways that were harder during the busy child-rearing years.
“That’s one of the blessings of the empty nest,” Rita said. “You have more time for relationships.”
Although Rita once ran marathons, today her runs are more about reflection than competition.
“Running and writing are similar for me now,” she noted. “They’re both ways to listen to myself and process life.”
No regrets and no limits
If she could roll back the clock, Rita said there was nothing she would do differently.
“I’m in the no-regrets category, like my dad,” she explained. “He always said, ‘I’m going to live my life and I’m not going to have any regrets.’ I listened to that.”
Rita’s advice to others over 50 is to listen to their inner voice.
“I think deep inside, we all know what it is we’d like to do. A lot of times, we just don’t give ourselves permission to do it,” she added. “And if you’re not sure, then keep an open mind. You’ll find exactly what you need.”
More importantly, Rita stressed, “It’s never too late. One of my fellow authors at She Writes Press just published her book at 90 years old. She’s vibrant, smart and funny – proof that you can always chase your dreams.”
As for her own bucket list, Rita would like to slow down a bit and do some traveling because there’s a lot of the world she still hasn’t seen.
Rita’s story is a wonderful reminder that, while life after 50 often comes with unexpected changes, it also holds immense possibilities. That’s especially true for people willing to embrace the silence, listen inward and take a bold step forward.
“I hope that some of what I’ve written inspires people,” Rita said. “If nothing else, I want them to know they’re not alone, and that these feelings are shared by many. There’s life – beautiful, messy, meaningful life – on the other side of the empty nest.”
For more information
To connect with Rita, people can find her on these platforms:
- Website = www.ritalussier.com
- Facebook = www.facebook.com/ritalussierauthor
- Instagram = www.instagram.com/ritalussierauthor
- Threads = www.threads.net/@ritalussierauthor
Rita’s book, “And Now, Back to Me,” is available on Amazon and in other bookstores.
After closing his business and enduring several painful years of uncertainty regarding what to do with his life, Greg founded Forward From 50 to help men and women over 50 to live more purposeful lives by pursuing things they are passionate about. A Wisconsin native, Greg currently lives in Arizona.