When Kirsten Samuel crossed the 50-year milestone, she did not set out to build a platform, coach women in crisis or tell a story that once felt unbearable to say out loud. She simply wanted her life to matter, even after it had been cracked open.
“When God says, I’ve got a different adventure for you, you say yes and you move,” she said.
That belief now frames her second act. Kirsten leaned into a calling shaped by hard-won healing, deep faith and a steady belief that her pain can become a doorway to purpose.
Today, she coaches women who experienced betrayal in their marriages following a discovery of their husbands’ addiction to pornography. It is a ministry she does alongside her husband. Together, they offer hope to people who feel stuck in the dark.
A purpose that arrived through pain
Kirsten’s work centers on betrayal recovery, particularly for women whose marriages were impacted by pornography addiction, like hers was a few years ago.
“I described the feeling of betrayal as my husband had stuck a dagger in my heart, and he kept turning it,” she said.
The betrayal attacked more than her marriage. It went after her identity. She remembered feeling ugly, unworthy, unseen and inadequate. All those emotions did not disappear quickly or neatly.
A moment that changed everything
Years earlier, Dave, her husband of 25 years, walked in the door after work and she could tell something was wrong. When she asked what was happening, he told her he might lose his job the next day because of a moral failure.
“My knees buckled,” she recalled.
Then came the disclosure that changed the marriage. Dave told her he had struggled with pornography for most of his life. He said it began after early exposure as a child.
What followed was not a quick turnaround. She described it as a long and humbling journey that required both of them to do real work. They had to face parts of the story neither wanted to address, but both had to take a separate journey.
After 50, her purpose is inseparable from that reality. She offers companionship and practical help from within a shared experience.
A book that opened the door
Kirsten’s public work began with a private prompting. Near the end of her 40s and into her early 50s, she felt God press her to tell the story in a way that could serve others.
“The first step was writing my book,” she said. “The Lord said it’s time to tell your story.”
She did not welcome the assignment at first. She knew what it would cost to put those years into words. She also knew how many people would misunderstand it.
“I argued with him, which I usually do,” she admitted, “Yet, in the end, God still wins.”
Her book, “Choosing a Way Out,” shares the journey through betrayal and the path toward restoration. For Kirsten, writing it was not about airing personal pain. It was about refusing to let shame stay hidden, especially when hidden shame can destroy lives.
That decision changed her trajectory. It also clarified what she would focus on in the years ahead, which was to help other people find their way through the same heartbreak.
Worthy again
One of the most important shifts in Kirsten’s story is how she learned to see herself. Betrayal had planted lies that sounded like truth. She realized how easily a person can start living inside those statements by wearing them like an identity.
At one point, she asked God a question that cut to the center.
“Lord, how do you see me?” she recalled.
The answer she sensed was a single word – worthy.
Kirsten is careful about that word. Worthy, she explained, is not a self-made badge, rather it is a truth anchored in faith.
“I am worthy not because I’m all that,” she explained. “But, I’m worthy because Jesus said I am worthy.”
That belief fuels her coaching. Many women she works with are not just grieving a marriage. They are grieving a sense of personhood. Kirsten helps them untangle what happened from who they are.
She wants women to separate their spouse’s choices from their own value, and to stop carrying shame that does not belong to them.
Stopping the habit of playing small
Kirsten believes many people arrive at midlife with a pattern of shrinking themselves. Sometimes it is learned early or reinforced by fear. Many time that behavior is a survival skill that outlives its usefulness.
“If I could turn the clock back, I would have stopped playing small a long time ago,” Kirsten said.
She remembered the inner script that kept telling her to stay quiet because, if she said anything, she would get into trouble.
After 50, she decided she was done with that. If she was going to heal, Kirsten would have to step forward, even when she felt exposed.
“Silence can feel safer than honesty, but it can also keep people trapped,” she explained. “I encourage my clients to name what is real, seek support and rebuild with intention.
Hope as a daily practice
When Kirsten talks about hope, it requires action. Hope is what a woman reaches for when she wakes up and grief is still there. That woman must choose hope even when she cannot see the full path yet.
She needs to repeat that message because betrayal can make the future feel contaminated and make a person question everything they thought was true.
Kirsten’s coaching helps women to steady their nervous system, sort through decisions and create boundaries that protect their healing. She also helps them process the spiritual confusion that often follows betrayal, especially for people of faith.
“I want my clients to understand there is a way through,” she said.
A marriage remade
Kirsten and Dave are now 18 years beyond the date he disclosed his problem. Yet, what they have today is something new. They never divorced, but they did not simply return to their old marriage.
“We are two different people who are married to the same people,” she said. “It’s a brand new marriage.”
Kirsten explained that some marriages do not recover because some men do not choose accountability, and some women choose to leave for their own safety and sanity.
Kirsten respects those realities. Her goal is not to pressure people into reconciliation, but to support healing, whether a woman stays or goes. She wants women to know they can become whole again, even if their marriage does not.
Living with intention in a new season
Kirsten’s reinvention after 50 is visible in practical ways. In the last 8 years, she and Dave have worked as travel coordinators for a Christian travel company which organizes events for nonprofit organizations.
Then came another unexpected pivot. About 2 years ago, they moved from Colorado to downtown Chicago. It was a change that surprised many friends.
The move was not only geographic, it was symbolic, too. After turning 50, Kirsten stopped assuming the best chapters were behind her and she began seeing later life as a place for assignments, not retirement.
What others can learn from her second act
Kirsten’s story is not a blueprint, but it offers clear lessons for anyone entering a new season.
First, purpose does not require a perfect past. It simply requires a willingness to be honest about what happened and who you want to become.
Second, healing can be slow, but it is not passive. It involves choices and the courage to face what is true.
Third, your voice matters, especially after 50. Kirsten’s life changed when she stopped playing small and decided to tell her story. She now uses that voice to remind others that they are not alone, and then Kirsten helps them to rebuild from the inside out.
She knows first-hand the second half of life can still be an adventure. That’s not because it is easy, but because it can be filled with meaning, growth and contribution.
For more information
People can connect with Kirsten on these platforms:
- Website = www.kirstendsamuel.com where people can download free resources on betrayal recovery and breaking shame
- Facebook = www.facebook.com/kirstendsamuel
- Instagram = www.instagram.com/kirstendsamuel
- LinkedIn = www.linkedin.com/in/kirstendsamuel
- YouTube = www.youtube.com/@KirstenDSamuel
People can order an autographed copy of Kirsten’s book, “Choosing a Way Out,” on her website for $6 to cover shipping and handling. It is also available on Amazon and in other bookstores.
If you order a copy of Kirsten’s book from a link above, Forward From 50 may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.
