Kate Battistelli, author of "The After Party of the Empty Nest."

Kate Battistelli finds joy in the ‘after party’ of the empty nest

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When Kate Battistelli’s daughter moved out to pursue a music career, the silence that followed was deafening.

The former Broadway actress turned homeschool mom had poured her life into raising Francesca, who would go on to become a Grammy-winning Christian artist. But once her daughter left home, Kate was blindsided by an overwhelming sense of loss and confusion.

“I wasn’t prepared for it,” she said. “I really never thought about it. When she was gone, it just really hit me hard, because I didn’t expect how lonely it would be and how without purpose I would feel.”

Like many women, Kate had spent decades in full-throttle parenting mode — carting her daughter to lessons, managing her education, cooking, cleaning and supporting her daughter’s passions.

Once all that ended, she said, “It was just hard. It’s lonely. It’s sad.”

But Kate didn’t stay stuck in sorrow. Instead, she discovered that life after parenting could be a celebration — a joyful new chapter full of passion and purpose. That’s the message she shares in her latest book, “The After Party of the Empty Nest.”

“This next season of life can be wonderful and scary,” she explained. “But whenever God calls you to something new, it’s going to stretch you. It’s going to make you think you can’t do it,  because you can’t without him. But if God calls you to it, he’ll equip you to do it.”

A surprising second act

Kate’s own second act came unexpectedly. She never set out to become a writer or speaker. In fact, she said, “I had no desire to be a writer until God told me to write a book.” At the time, she was just trying to find her footing after her daughter left home.

“God said, ‘That’s what I call you to do now.’ And he has that for every single one of us,” said Kate. “But we have to say yes. We have to choose to be chosen.”

That calling led her to write three books, including “The God Dare” and “Growing Great Kids,” and to launch a successful podcast, “Mom to Mom,” which she co-hosts with two younger mothers. Together, the trio shares faith-based encouragement from different generational perspectives.

“We’re not equal, but there’s less distance now,” Kate said of her relationship with her adult daughter. “That’s a privilege and a joy. And now, I also get to pour into my grandchildren and spoil them a little bit, too.”

But Kate is quick to point out that her current purpose didn’t arrive overnight. It took time, prayer, and a willingness to be used by God in new ways.

“You’re always a mom,” she said. “But that motherhood season is going to end. So what’s the next thing God has for you? What is that second act? You have to realize there is more, and then be willing to step into it.”

From Broadway to blogging

Kate’s story begins far from the world of empty nests and podcasting. A talented singer with Broadway dreams, she left college early to pursue musical theater, eventually landing the lead role in the national tour of “The King and I” alongside Yul Brynner.

“I ended up doing the show for almost three years, and about a thousand performances,” she explained. “It was amazing.”

That season also introduced her to her husband, Mike, the show’s associate conductor. But even as they married and began their lives together, God was already shifting their trajectory.

“We met the Lord after we got married, and he started moving us away from the theater,” Kate explained. “Eventually, he told us to lay it all down.”

They moved to New Jersey, embraced homeschooling before it was popular, and focused on raising their daughter according to biblical principles. As Francesca’s musical talent blossomed, Kate and Mike did everything they could to nurture her gifts while keeping her grounded in faith.

That devotion ultimately bore fruit. But, it left Kate without direction when her parenting duties ended.

“I think one of the hard things is, it’s just so quiet now,” she explained. “You’re no longer a chauffeur. You’re no longer dealing with schedules. And if you don’t know who you are outside of being ‘Mom,’ It’s really hard.”

The danger of staying stuck

Kate wrote “The After Party of the Empty Nest” to help women — and men — to understand their story doesn’t end when their children leave home.

“So many women just sit there and stay stuck,” she said. “I’ve heard women say, ‘It’s been three years and I still miss my kids.’ And I’m like, ‘Get out of that. You have to be willing to jump out and dig in with God.’”

She urges people over 50 to begin preparing now for what’s next, especially as their children approach adulthood.

“If you know your kids are leaving home in a couple of years, then start figuring out and praying about what your next act supposed to look like?” she said. “Don’t get hit like I did.”

Kate also encourages couples to invest in their marriages during the final years of parenting so they’re not left feeling like strangers once the kids are gone.

“The kids become a buffer between you and your spouse,” she said. “But your marriage has to be a priority. He was there before the kids — and he’ll be there when they’re gone.”

Her book includes an entire chapter of date night ideas designed to help couples reconnect.

Choosing to be chosen

In her 50s and beyond, Kate discovered that her greatest contributions were still ahead. Today, she finds deep meaning in speaking truth to women of all ages, especially those who feel unseen, unqualified or unsure of what comes next.

“God doesn’t care about how big or small your purpose is,” she said. “It’s about obedience. Are you willing to say yes, even if it scares you?”

Kate frequently reminds readers that their unique talents and life experiences were given for a reason — and that the kingdom needs their voices.

“I don’t believe in retirement,” she said. “You can retire from a job, but you can’t retire from being a Christian. We are all called to build the kingdom in some way, and most of us will do it in obscurity. But Jesus doesn’t care about fame. He cares about faithfulness.”

She laments that many churches have missed opportunities to cultivate cross-generational relationships, particularly among women.

“There’s a lack of Titus 2 women in the church today,” Kate explained. “So many older women don’t realize how much they have to offer. But, young women are begging for mentors. They need us.”

Her advice for getting started is simple: “Have coffee. Pray. Listen. You don’t need a formal Bible study to make a difference.”

Moving forward with courage

Kate believes the enemy of purpose is often fear — fear of change, fear of failure or fear of irrelevance. But she also knows that fear is no excuse for disobedience.

“Sometimes you just have to do it afraid,” she said. “That’s what I learned when I first stepped on stage as an understudy. And it’s still true today.”

Looking back, she wouldn’t change much, except maybe worrying less and trusting God more.

“I went through a season of being mad at God when I couldn’t have more children,” she recalled. “But now I understand that nothing comes to us that hasn’t first passed through the Father’s hands. He never wastes an experience.”

Whether through her writing, podcasting, mentoring or simply loving her grandkids well, Kate is determined to finish strong and to help others do the same.

“We were created for a time such as this,” she said. “There is still work to do. There is still joy to be had. And, yes, there is still a party worth attending.”

For more information

People may contact Kate in a variety of ways, including:

Her book, “The After Party of the Empty Nest,” is available on Amazon and in other bookstores. If you text “afterparty” (without quotes) to 41444, you will be able to read the introduction and first chapter free.

If you order one of Kate’s books from a link above, Forward From 50 may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

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